Yay for school.. entry on Black Sunday!

This shall be a long post, behold!

School starts next week, I will not play poker online anymore during school days (weekdays), it is a promise I am making to myself and I am pretty sure I can uphold it since I have no addiction whatsoever, I don't feel the urge to play.

How time flys by, summer is over, school is starting,one of the toughest year and toughest quarter coming up .. but my worst fear is still not knowing what to do with my life. The first couple of years have convinced me that I am not cut out to be an engineer, at least a great engineer.. I mean I can graduate with a good GPA and maybe even get a master degree by just doing what I have been doing, I can get a pretty decent paying job somewhere and work 8 hours a day.. but THAT is not what I want, that is not what I like, I may not be sure of too many things about my future, but this is ONE thing I am positive about.
That really leaves me with like two options, lawyer and something related to buisness.. My dad says I am not cut out to do buisness while obvious reasons seem to prevent me from being a great lawyer (language skills). I am lost, it seems to be that I will be paying at least 30k for the next two years just to obtain a piece of paper, taking classes I have no interest in, maybe I will still do well, that does not mean I like it..

I have never been the one worrying about my future too much, always believing that something will happen, that one day I will know exactly what I want to do, or one day I will stumble upon something that makes a lot of money.. but as years fly by so quickly, I begin to realize that I am the one who has to make something happen, I have to put myself in the position to get "lucky".. to stumble on that something.. sitting back and doing nothing will only result in nothingness.

Reflecting on my summer, I did not accomplish half of the things I set out to do.. I still cannot even work the graphical interface of Linux not to mention learning all the commands and do project development on Linux.. I did not net as much money off Poker like I thought I could.. and I did not get back into top shape again.. in fact, my max probably decreased.. I did do well in my classes and worked all summer although my net income is negative (summer school + rent cost a lot).. So all in all, the word laziness pretty much sums my summer experience.. I think I am not diciplined enough to follow my own plan, I need a plan where I HAVE TO FOLLOW IT to be productive in future summers... (possible thoughts, 25 dollars per hour internship anyone? or taking GRE, LSAT and GMAT classes in China :) )

I really do not have any great plans for the new school year.. uncertainty is a good word to describe all that I am feeling right now.. Like my roommate Bo says.. Is it going to be a lonely year living further from campus and in apartment? Or is it going to be a fun year? Being around good friends all the time, meeting new people and having girlfriends.. How often will Felix and Quang be gone? How many girls will Bo get or TRY to get? Is our apartment going to be empty most of the time? Who is going to be home the most? Are we going to have time to cook? Our grocery situation is a mess right now.. what about my car? I need a car! And of course.. how often am I going to go to class living 2 miles from campus? .. Answers can only come with time..

Do man always want what he cannot get? Is the challenge always more appealing than the given? Why is it that when you have someone already but you still want someone else? I have never felt this way before.. strange.. Is it real? Only time will tell..

I want to end this blog by saying that Peyton Manning is one of the greatest QB ever to embrace the sport, the combination of intelligence, decision-making skill and athletic talent put him in a league of his own. No one is a better QB by himself in this planet..

I AM READY FOR SCHOOL!