This is it...

***** Hand History for Game 2663174212 *****
$400 NL Texas Hold'em - Tuesday, September 06, 04:59:45 EDT 2005
Table Table 49086 (6 max) (Real Money)
Seat 3 is the button
Total number of players : 6
Seat 1: jksalsa ( $69.75 )
Seat 2: sacco165 ( $593.50 )
Seat 3: Montysaurus ( $963.20 )
Seat 5: cchaorules ( $268 )
Seat 6: xuanliu ( $629.50 )
Seat 4: afroyo820 ( $208.50 )
afroyo820 posts small blind [$2].
cchaorules posts big blind [$4].
** Dealing down cards **
Dealt to afroyo820 [ As Ad ]
xuanliu folds.
jksalsa folds.
sacco165 calls [$4].
Montysaurus folds.
afroyo820 raises [$15].
cchaorules folds.
sacco165 calls [$13].
** Dealing Flop ** [ 8c, 8d, 2h ]
afroyo820 bets [$15].
sacco165 raises [$40].
afroyo820 is all-In [$176.50]
sacco165 calls [$151.50].
** Dealing Turn ** [ Jd ]
** Dealing River ** [ 6h ]
sacco165 shows [ 6d, 6s ] a full house, Sixes full of eights.
afroyo820 doesn't show [ As, Ad ] two pairs, aces and eights.
sacco165 wins $418 from the main pot with a full house, Sixes full of eights.


What can I say? I am done with online poker, this shit is too much, good thing I cashed out 700 in the last 14 days to follow my plan, now I am flat broke online.

I do not plan to play online anymore.. Despite all the fishes online (read above hand history), I just cannot control myself when I start losing or hitting bad streaks. I might go to casino with friends now and then, but I am done with this online crap because I simply do not plan to withdraw any money from my bank account for this... the only chance I have to get money online is if my two friends who is playing in WCOOP whom I bought share of make it big in one of the events.. =/

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Looking back, I have came a long way in this game of poker, thanks to helps of some very good players and my own practice. I can not deny the thought of living a life of professional poker player never crossed my mind, because that would be a plain lie to anyone who knows me. I watch poker sites and keep track of poker events religiously, I understand how much money is being exchanged online on a regular basis, and how insanely rich people are getting from both live and internet poker. We are talking about millions of dollars for couple of days of sitting on your ass playing a card game. We are talking about couple of thousands dollars per hand high stake poker where million dollars swing can occur on a regular basis. We are talking about 18 years old taking home what his parents make in a year combined by playing poker for a couple of hours, catching some aces, making some good laydowns, winning some coinflips, maybe inflict a few bad beats on the poor small stacks along the way, arriving at final table when every exit of another player means thousands of dollars more for himself... We are talking about college kids dropping out because they will definitely not find a job that pays them as well no matter how hard they try in college as playing cards for a living, just playing cards..

Do I envy them? Do I admire them? Yes and Yes. I certainly envied those who pays 215 dollars entry fee to a tournament and comes back with 100 thousand dollars, I certainly envied my friend who kills cash games day after day, taking the same beats I do on such a more regular basis.. By playing so much poker in the past year or so, I understand how much skill this game requires and I certainly would have to respect and admire those more skilled than I am.

I tried to learn, I tried to imitate the way good players play, I read up.. I even study off hand histories of a good cash game player. Have I improved? Most certainly I have, I am a much better player than the idiot who started playing online almost exactly a year ago. However, with the passage of time I also realized my own limitations more and more, that the glory and monetary fulfillment many rising poker players are experiencing will probably never belong to me. Just because I admire and envy them, does not mean I have to imitate them.. since imitating them has became an increasingly daunting task. In another word, after one year of playing, if I am actually good, I should already be rich, I should already have made a mark for myself because that is what good poker players do; their potential is so well shaped and apparent.. While I can still live in an illusion that I will make it big some day, I believe I chose the wise way out.

Some memorable moments from past year of pokering..

1. Making final table (my ONLY final table EVER in the first multi table tournament I have ever played)

2. Breakout since December of 04, started to be able to play cash games and at least break even.. thus started the life as a bonus whore.

3. Participated in the biggest tournament of my life, TGC's 100k guaranteed and finished 14th out of over 700 people.. that was the closest I have ever came to a big break I have always dreamt about.

4. Succesfully cashed out 1k for the first 6 month of 05.. During the month of May and June, I discovered Bodog and experienced briefly what it feels like to be a high roller by playing 2/4 regularly.. and some 100 SNG and MTT.. getting involved in 600 dollars + pots regularly and beating the game for a while until my deadliest, most pernicious habit sent me straight back down to low stake poker.. MOVING TO 5/10 when I am losing...

5. Perhaps the sweetest and most accomplished moment of my pokering career.. taking home the IPOD first prize in the first live MTT I have ever played.. an event hosted by a frat. in UCLA, despite the weak competition and the wack structure.. anytime when you win something like that and when you are cheered on by your gf and roommates and many other spectators.. and you win.. it is something special.

6. The last of my own struggle.. I have been beating the game hard and cashing out 50 a day.. Just because I hit a bad streak for a couple of days does not mean I should keep playing and losing...

7. The last hand of my online pokering career is capped off in a big pot.. with AA.. and as 92% favorite when the money went in.. 2 outs with 2 cards to come.. At least I did not go out like a n00b.

Total earning : ~ 7400 dollars + Chip Set + IPOD

Good Experience.